I'm tired with everything. Everything means everything. Physically and mentally. I'm tired with my life, people surround me, my study and everything.

I wish I can graduate now and find a work asap. It not that I'm really into studying. Its true that my schedule quite packed and people say that "I'm a clever and diligent student" but the truth is I'm not. I just want to enjoy studying while I can and do my best right now because I have always disappoint my parents. I can't set my mind right now. I don't know I can further my study or not but I think I won't. Please don't ask why. It complicated to me.

I have been bearing this since I was a child. It keeps happening again and again. You can say that I'm used to it but still I've been disturb by it. I'm scared to tell this to others. And I never open my mouth about it to others. Because I know people won't believe it if I tell them I'm actually like this. I'm not tough but I have to be tough. I need to learn how to control my feeling. Myself. I don't want to be like other people that have problem. I won't ruin myself just because of this stupid thing. I won't run away. I won't be like others. I won't.

I'm sick with people actually. But not all. It is hard for me to trust people. Please don't force me to do what I don't want to do or I'll end up hating people. And please don't use me for your own purpose or I'll end up hating you more. I'm sick with people who didn't do their work or used others to do their work. At first I might just keep quiet but I'm sorry. Once I'm mad, all the harsh words is out, and both side will be at anger.

I don't know what I should do or how I should act. I only can pray to Allah. That the only thing that I can do right now. I'm sorry but it not easy for me to trust people right now.

I'm sorry that you guys have to read my crapping post. and sorry for bad grammar and language. I want to speak it out but I might  broke down. I'm sorry but please don't ask me anything regard to this. That all for now.