The question is "Am I a hypocrite?" Sometimes I would answer no and sometimes yes. I also don't get this. What does hypocrite means to you guys? Let me go straight to the point.

If you look at my outer appearance, some will say that I'm scary (serious I'm not lying), I'm nice and etc. I laugh out loud when people said that I'm scary.. Adoyai.. Tak sangka aku, muka aku nampak garang sangat.

When people said that I'm nice, ofcoz I'll smile lah but deep inside my heart I still question that. "How come you said that I'm nice when I'm giving out a vibe that said 'leave me alone', 'don't come any closer' ?" Geez.. This is frustrating.

Yup.. I'm wearing a hijab and I'm covering my body even though not fully covered, but how come my behaviour is different from one people to another people?

I'll get really awkward and pissed off really easily with guys *except for my close friends*. I even make a face sometimes that looks like I want people to slap my face really hard. When some of them trying to touch me, I'll get mad really easily and feel really disgusting.

But when I'm with my taekwondo fella, I feel nothing when they touch me. Maybe because I know they touch me in a teaching way and not in a pervert way.. For example, when sir(s) and Uzair touch my shoulder, hands, legs and some other part that need to be corrected, I'm okay with it. I'm weird don't you think so?

I might sound nice on the phone or while texting or twitting or chatting, but the real me is the worst. I'm sure you can't imagine about that. I can't even smile sincerely.

Geez.. I don't understand myself. When I don't want to have any relationship with people, I'll scream myself out when I watch japanese drama. I know.. I know.. I think I've gone crazy..